Oops!...I did it again

No – not ala Britney Spears…but in my own way, I’ve done it again, even when I determined not to. Christmas is one week from today and somehow, I’ve gotten caught up in the insanity of the season yet another time. Every year I tell myself that THIS year I’ll really celebrate Advent the way God intended: as a season of preparation for the coming of the King. And once again, I’ve sort of missed the point.

We had decided at the end of the season last year that it would be our final December to have a Christmas tree (we’ve had our artificial tree for about 10 years and it’s on its last limb). Instead, Pete would build a crèche with a cross behind, on which we would place a crown. We would light an Advent candle and read from the lectionary every day, focusing on repentance and being ready. Not having grown up in these traditions, they feel fresh and new to me, not old and worn out.

But alas, cancer got in the way, and our resident carpenter was busy going for radiation everyday instead of being creative in the garage. So, I decided I couldn’t have NOTHING in the living room and I put up the limp-along-tree one more year, minus a few limbs here and there that have fallen off. (It still looks lovely.)

I still hoped to read and pray and ponder the mystery of the incarnation and be really ready. I have not done a very good job at all. I got the Christmas cards out early (minus the few that I realize I should have sent and didn’t), and thought I had the shopping done before T-minus-eleven (but nuts – I’m not done YET). Dinners and rehearsals and other craziness have filled the evenings and the days find me making more lists and trying to remember what I’ve forgotten.

This is not the way I wanted to reach the week before Christmas. Last year that blessed extra week in November somehow made all the difference (there were five Thursdays in the month – how often does THAT happen?!?). By the first Sunday of Advent I had all the cards out and the shopping done and it all felt so easy. Last year I left for work at 8:15, as opposed to the 7:00 departure time this year, which allowed some time for reflection at a time when I was actually awake.

This year everything feels different.

But all is not lost – because this year, I have something I haven’t had for years…a two week Christmas break. And if we get lucky, it might even be longer because there is a big snow warning out and tomorrow is looking pretty ominous. The kids are talking about wearing their pajamas backwards tonight and they’re all hoping against hope that tomorrow will be a snow day. Today just has that “air” of a last-day-before-break even though it’s only Thursday. If we wind up coming tomorrow after all, there will be a whole bunch of disappointed people (students and adults alike).

But even if we do, I am still looking forward to the holiday and some good long hours of reading and writing and getting ready. It’s way too easy to get caught up in the hysteria and miss the point altogether. I’m ready for some quiet and some thoughtfulness and some soul nurturing.